Circles and marriage

“We Greeks get married in circles, to impress upon ourselves the essential matrimonial facts: that to be happy you have to find variety in repitition; that to go forward you have to come back where you began.” 

From Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides.

I read this and my first thought was yes, absolutely. It then got me thinking about marriage, a topic I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, what with a recent divorce of someone close, hearing about a few friends struggling in their marriages and friends getting engaged.

Something which once the thoughts formulate more in my mind I will try and write about more soon.

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6 comments

  1. Kirsty {a safe mooring}

    What a lovely quotation. Have you ever seen this wedding that Lillian & Leonard shot in New York? http://lillianandleonard.blogspot.com/2010/06/persephone-and-steve-part-2-ceremony_11.html (the bride blogs at What Possessed Me). It’s a Greek Orthodox wedding and I’ve always found the images very moving, with the crowns and the circling.

    We are lucky that so far none of our friends have divorced, but I have seen friends who are struggling and it brings home the reality of the commitment that marriage entails. Look forward to reading your thoughts, once you’ve had time to process them.

    • wifenewcity

      I loved that Lillian and Leonard wedding. I hadn’t even related it to the greek wedding in this book! And thank-you, hopefully I can put some of them into words which make some kind of sense.

  2. K

    I like this part ” that to be happy you have to find variety in repitition” after being married 10 years you realise alot of marriage is about making the every day work, working together to deal with the mundane things life throws at you (especially with kids!!)

    although I’m not sure I understnad the last line!

    • wifenewcity

      I liked the variety in repetition part too. And in some ways the repitition is what binds you too. The doing the same things over and over and making them yours.

  3. kacey

    “to go forward you have to come back where you began.”

    My husband and I met when we were 18, so we missed out on a lot of drunken random makeout sessions and other college rites. We’ve been together 8 years and decided that this year, since we are childless and relatively responsibility-free, we’d give ourselves the freedom of acting like teenagers. We’ve been going out, dancing, drinking too much, having wild nights on the town. It’s been strangely freeing to realize that yes, we are married, but no, we are not dead. We are going back to where we began and finding variety in repitition. It’s been wonderful. I am going to try to remember this quote, and this wild interlude, for the rest of our marriage.

    • wifenewcity

      I am very similar to you in age of meeting and length of time together. I’m so glad that you’re having so much fun and enjoying this time just the two of you. It is precious time which I’m sure you’ll look back very fondly on. x

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